Is that fur in the corner? Looks like fur. What is it? Cotton candy is pink, right? It's not a bear.... A very small bear? No. In the name of all that is holy, WHAT IS THAT THING? Sure not a duck. Ducks have feathers. It's being pretty quiet for a duck. No it's not a duck. What am I thinking? I feel compelled to get closer. Yet I sit here, like a photo, unable to move a muscle.
So Bo came back yesterday. He's the ninja dog that can walk through walls and steal the hearts of humans. He doesn't scare me. I looked into his soul and saw that he was good. Moxie wet her fur. Ha, Ha.
Yeah, whatever. Bo returns this Sunday. We know how this goes down. Bo's gonna take a licking and we'll see if he keeps ticking? Specially if he messes with Moxie. You don't try gobbling up my sister without paying the price!
Okay, how about a joke: A lion walks into an AA meeting, walks up to the bar and he says to the bartender, uhm, he said something... wait, is the joke already over?
Oh, cause the... oh, that's funny. THAT's funny. Cause why would the bartender even be at an AA meeting where no one appreciates his talents?
Sober people are terrible tippers. There's no margins on ginger ale.
Moxie's gone nuts this week and made a million wallpapers for your desktops. She's a good designer but she doesn't know how to rhyme like me. I don't know if my stylings ever made it in.
This one's my favorite. I like green.
More wallpapers are in the archives. You get to dig for them.
Let me break it down for you: loads of dudes wear eyeliner - David Bowie,Billy Mack,John Cameron Mitchell. How can you call yourself an uber-masculine glam rocker without sporting the faux lids and lashes?
Mura wrote me in monday's blog comments about an awful thing. Nature turned it's wicked sense of humor against Hollywood. A sequel may hang in the balance.
Edmund, the nasty little boy from the Chronicles of Narnia movie is trapped in Beirut, threatened on all sides by all sides! Irony of ironies, it's exactly like a movie. But what can I do? He must be bored.
Maybe I could host a fundraising drive to send him a... no, that's not going to work. The PS3 isn't out until next year. Damn. All out of ideas.
Krylie S. writes: "I liked the first Police Academy MUCH more than later ones. Who was your favorite character? And where do you stand on sequels? BTW, you're really cute."
Cooper responds: Okay, my take on sequels: Terminator: YES. Superman: NO. Spiderman: YES. Planet of the Apes: Absolutely - how can you go wrong? The Godfather: sure, why not? Star Trek: YES. Star Wars: two sequels and that's my limit. 007: YES. The Bourne Series: YES, YES, YES! OH GOD YES! DO ME JASON BOURNE! Just kidding, I'm not gay but if I was... The Matrix: YES. Chronicles of Narnia: YES. Annie Hall: wasn't funny enough. Clerks: YES, only if Kevin Smith directs. Fletch: YES, only if Kevin Smith directs. Airplane!: NO. Indiana Jones: OH YEAH. Aquaman: YES! YES! YES!
My favorite character from Police Academy: You can't beat a guy who makes funny sounds with his mouth.
I thought about it all yeseterday, between naps. I'm a capital-N Ninja, or a capital C... Catninja. Ha that's awesome. Cat-Nin-Ja! Hey I just made up a word. Oh my god, I am SO awesome AND cool. Moxie never made up a word. Have you? Then I'm the first! Ohhhh Yeah! If she wasn't right here, I'd run tell her.
Hi. My name is Cooper, and I am addicted to litter.
What can I say?
I'm smaller than most lions since I was the runt of the litter. Which is all good because the ladies don't get intimidated about picking me up. (I get a lot of play.)
I am the Godfather. I am the Walrus. I am Dianetics Jr. I am more popular than Aslan.
Before you write me with any dumb questions, go listen to Karate (iTunes link).
Hi I'm Cooper and I dig litter. Aside from that, I'm a mixed pointed Tonkinese rescue kitty - well, cat now. More lion than anything. You might notice the resemblance?
