ToiLET-TRAINED PaRROT

Mmmmm, parrot.

CAt iN The baG

No one prances across a stage like Stephen Colbert. A champion's paws raised high. Ready to defeat any adversary.

This morning's WØRD: Cat in the bag?

No seriously, what's in Buzz Aldrin's bag?

A DiMe BAG Full Of LiTTEr

I'm forced to do this. Write that Moxie! Whenever our dealer goes to the gym Moxie wakes me and helps with the computer though I don't really need it.

//---- Yeah sure - Moxie

Hey! What'd you just type? I didn't tell you to type that. What does that say? Tell me. Tell me now. I'll find out. I've got enablers who'll turn you in for a dime bag full of litter. If I can find one around here.

Obsession, For Cooper

Is that fur in the corner? Looks like fur. What is it? Cotton candy is pink, right? It's not a bear.... A very small bear? No. In the name of all that is holy, WHAT IS THAT THING? Sure not a duck. Ducks have feathers. It's being pretty quiet for a duck. No it's not a duck. What am I thinking? I feel compelled to get closer. Yet I sit here, like a photo, unable to move a muscle.

I'll Never Understand Dog

After seeing this, I'm uncertain I'll ever be able to spell dog backward again.

Ask a Feline: Love at First Barista

Alistair N. writes: "My Darling Cooper, I am a hopeless romantic. Every morning the barista at my favorite coffee shop sends me personal messages in the foam caps of my lattes, and I can not for the life of me read the signals. Near Halloween, my latte arrives with a toothy pumpkin swirled into its foam head. When hanukkah arrives, my swirls turn to the billowing golden caps of challah bread. Near to Christmas day, my latte appears table side adorned with frothy snowmen, christmas trees and when I'm lucky, the body of Christ, nails and all, hanging from a dark espresso cross. Even president's day isn't left off the calendar, when I swear I see Nixon staring back at me. Could be Ford. I can't be certain. Anyway...

It is about the regular days that I write you... On regular days I receive the sweetest, most personal message swirled into my foam: a simple expression of love: the human heart.

Does my Barista love me or is it a passing crush?

- Alistair N. (the guy across the street who notices when you vacuum late at night)"

Cooper responds: Dear Alistair, I don't vacuum but thanks for thinking of me if I did. My humans take care of the vacuuming for me and Moxie (I just hang out at a safe distance and watch). About your question... Did you find true love in your mug of joe? The answer you seek is within:

Two Cats Window Gazing

Construction workers eat lunch in the neighbor's yard.

Good Times

Moxie's fun cause when I chase her, she runs. Until she gets tired or jumps up high. She's still got a foot or two on me.

Construction Blues

Construction across the street. I can't sleep. Guess I'll write. Well, not much going on. Our litter dealer headed through the magic door this morning. Same as always. Boring day ahead. I hope they lay him off so these days don't seem so stupid long.