I'll Never Understand Dog

After seeing this, I'm uncertain I'll ever be able to spell dog backward again.

Ask a Feline: Love at First Barista

Alistair N. writes: "My Darling Cooper, I am a hopeless romantic. Every morning the barista at my favorite coffee shop sends me personal messages in the foam caps of my lattes, and I can not for the life of me read the signals. Near Halloween, my latte arrives with a toothy pumpkin swirled into its foam head. When hanukkah arrives, my swirls turn to the billowing golden caps of challah bread. Near to Christmas day, my latte appears table side adorned with frothy snowmen, christmas trees and when I'm lucky, the body of Christ, nails and all, hanging from a dark espresso cross. Even president's day isn't left off the calendar, when I swear I see Nixon staring back at me. Could be Ford. I can't be certain. Anyway...

It is about the regular days that I write you... On regular days I receive the sweetest, most personal message swirled into my foam: a simple expression of love: the human heart.

Does my Barista love me or is it a passing crush?

- Alistair N. (the guy across the street who notices when you vacuum late at night)"

Cooper responds: Dear Alistair, I don't vacuum but thanks for thinking of me if I did. My humans take care of the vacuuming for me and Moxie (I just hang out at a safe distance and watch). About your question... Did you find true love in your mug of joe? The answer you seek is within:

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Ninjas live for the night. Why would they schedule a parade at 10am?

Doublemoron

Moxie's heart hasn't stopped palpitating since Bo's visit a year ago.

Bo knows I'm a Catninja. I know secret moves that will keep him up at night worrying about small menacing furry creatures with claws. Like ME. Psycho human clipped my nails this morning. He's always getting in my business.

Hard to be a Domesticated Catninja. Sounds like a doublemoron.

Hey... doublemoron isn't even a word, is it? I just made it up! Doublemoron! I'm a genius. Gotta run tell Moxie.

Bo Schmo

So Bo came back yesterday. He's the ninja dog that can walk through walls and steal the hearts of humans. He doesn't scare me. I looked into his soul and saw that he was good. Moxie wet her fur. Ha, Ha.

Bo Shows In Fo Days

Yeah, whatever. Bo returns this Sunday. We know how this goes down. Bo's gonna take a licking and we'll see if he keeps ticking? Specially if he messes with Moxie. You don't try gobbling up my sister without paying the price!

Bo No Show

Bo was supposed to come by this weekend but he didn't. Prolly afraid. Dog's no match for a capital-N Ninja Lion.

Moxie The Seasick Pirate

Moxie is a Pirate cause she has no idea how to sneak up on me like a Ninja would. I always see her from a hundred paws away. She's the kind of Pirate who gets seasick when the toilet flushes. Ha Ha, that's funny. She's the kind of pirate who hides under the bed when a dog comes prancing through the house. I'm a ninja because I'm not scared. I'm just kinda like: "Hey, been there. Don't like you running through my house smelling like dog and everything, but what can I do?"

Two Cats Window Gazing

Construction workers eat lunch in the neighbor's yard.